Humor In Chaos
Searching for Joy Series
Can’t Talk About Love Without 1 Corinthians 13
How do we love? For me, the best source for answering that question is in the Bible.
It’s described all over. The most direct explanation I think is 1 Corinthians 13, one of the most popular passages used in weddings.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes in all things, endures all things.
When I was in my thirties and we were having some marital issues, I reread this verse in a small group Bible study. The person directing it made a suggestion that I still follow. She recommended to replace the words “love” and “it” and anywhere else appropriate with our own names.
Sarah is patient. Sarah is kind. Sarah is not jealous or boastful. Sarah is not arrogant or rude. Sarah does not insist on her own way. Sarah is not irritable or resentful. Sarah does not rejoice at wrong. Sarah rejoices in the right. Sarah bears all things. Sarah believes all things. Sarah hopes all things. Sarah endures all things.
This is when I understood that love is an action verb and a daily decision, a practice, a muscle to be exercised. Love requires developing patience in a mental action that requires everyday deliberate intention. So does kindness, rejoicing, bearing up in trying times, belief, hope, and endurance. Mental and emotional muscles require as much care and exercise, more at times, as the muscles of the physical body.
I cringe when I hear someone say, “I am not a patient person.” Patience is a trait someone chooses to nourish within and practice without, not a trait someone is or is not born with. That’s the same for all of these personality traits. An unwillingness to develop that trait is not love.
This biblical passage is a great template for personal affirmations. I am patient. I am kind. I am resilient. Etc.
This biblically provided list isn’t just for marital relationships. It’s for all relationships, especially for parent/child, but also extended family, friends, and even strangers. If more people practiced these traits, imagine how the world could be.
I am still trying to practice these traits now that the divorce is done. However, I turned them more inward since discovering my sin of putting my husband first above God. By putting him above Him, I put myself last. These traits are good for self-love, too.
These traits explain how to love God.
I have been angry with God in the past. When I am, I take myself out for long walks arguing with Him over things that don’t go the way I prayed and asked. I have been impatient, rude, arrogant, and insistent that things should be my way. Not a good way to cultivate joy. Fostering hope, faith, belief, and understanding that I don’t have the ability to know what He knows helps lead me to true joy because these things foster trust. Trust in His process and His timing is a foundation for perseverance and is fertile ground for joy to flourish.
This passage gave me a hard truth. Marriages do not fall apart due to external factors. Marriages are torn asunder internally. Marriages on a solid foundation can withstand anything, even death. After one partner has passed on to eternity, the remaining partner can live a joyful life patiently waiting until they are reunited.
Marriages fall apart because one or both partners stopped practicing the actions of love either by deliberate choice or neglect.
If we are honest with each other, that’s what went wrong with us. We didn’t keep practicing faith, hope, and belief in each other. We stopped choosing to see the best in our partner and decided to let doubt and resentment creep in and grow. That’s when the outer world found a way to invade.
Satan wants to destroy marriages and tear apart families. Why do so many people voluntarily give him a way in? We did. We should have known better. I know at some point we did and took for granted that we had life and marriage all figured out. That was arrogance, a sin of pride.
It’s amazing how weak us humans can be. Without daily prayer to uphold us, sin has many entry points.
The type of love this passage is talking about is unconditional love, also known as agape love, the perfect love God gives to us. The foundation we need to have a chance of reaching the point of unconditional love is acceptance. That can be as hard a concept to fully grasp as forgiveness. Hard, but not impossible.
Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more!
Sarah
Humor In Chaos
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